How to Be Courageous and Resilient When Life Throws You Unwanted Curve Balls
Resilience. It’s a term you might not spend much time thinking about until the moment you need to embody it yourself. It’s defined as the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from challenges or immense hardship.
In my latest L3 Philosophy™ with Emmi interview, I had an eye-opening conversation with my guest Christina Hurley, whose story is one of immense courage and transformation. Imagine what it would feel like to go from living a seemingly perfect life to facing not one, but three life-altering challenges in succession:
First, unexpectedly becoming a below-the-knee amputee.
Second, returning home after surgery to find that her husband had removed his belongings from their home one day after their one-year wedding anniversary.
Third, drowning in tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills.
How would you cope? Talk about some unexpected life twists. Navigating these challenges often requires not only resilience but a commitment to rebuilding and redefining ourselves in the face of adversity. Whether these obstacles include the dissolution of a relationship or a different type of loss or change, when we reflect on these kinds of major life events, the undertones of human suffering are the same. The grief, the despair, the loneliness, the heartache, the pain, the isolation, the confusion, the lack of identity and direction - all of them are universally shared pain points regardless of the circumstance.
Christina’s story is an example of the mental, emotional, and spiritual fortitude needed to rebuild your life after a setback. Through her story, we are reminded that it is possible to turn pain into purpose. Christina shares the incredible work she’s doing to support others through the nonprofit organization she founded called Less Leg More Heart.
Strap on your seat belt, because you do not want to miss this. Whether you're facing challenges of your own or need a dose of hope, Christina’s story will remind you that even in the darkest moments, there’s always light to be found.
You can watch the interview here by clicking below!
Living the Dream to The Unexpected Turn: When Everything Changed
Christina was living a seemingly perfect life before a life-altering medical condition struck. “I was in my twenties, young, fit, and living my best life,” she said, painting a picture of a life that many would envy. She had just completed her physician associate degree, was working in the healthcare field, and was making more money than she could have imagined. She was also competing in CrossFit®, a former gymnast, and surrounded by a loving family. Everything seemed to be falling into place.
Christina had even met the man of her dreams at a Vegas pool party, a seemingly fated encounter that connected her with someone who lived just a mile away from her. “It was one of those moments where everything felt effortless, and life was just clicking,” she recalled. She was on top of the world, feeling accomplished and secure. However, as life often does, it took an unexpected turn.
One day, without warning, Christina began experiencing strange symptoms. “My legs started feeling heavy, and my feet would go numb. At first, it was just a little discomfort, but then it started happening more frequently. It got to the point where I couldn’t walk the hallways of the hospital where I worked,” she shared. As symptoms worsened, she sought help from physical therapists and other medical professionals, trying different treatments to alleviate her discomfort. Unfortunately, no one seemed to be able to pinpoint the cause. Eventually, after months of misdiagnoses, she received the real answer: a medical condition that would leave her with the possibility of losing her legs. She was faced with a future she had never imagined.
Here’s the ironic part: Christina’s duties as a physician included amputating the legs of her patients as part of her job. "Every day for six months, as I marched toward my amputation date, I was taking care of amputees," she recalls, describing how it deepened her fear and anxiety. She was well aware of the recovery and life adjustments these procedures involved, and it led to her unraveling at home, where panic set in during quiet moments away from her professional tasks.
Christina reflected on the role her husband played during this time, poignantly noting his vow to "hold your hands through the speed bumps of life." However, the timing of her amputation, just six months into their marriage, tested this promise in unimaginable ways. The toll of back-to-back surgeries was a relentless cycle that left no room for mourning, connection, or shared processing. "We never had time to grieve or even check in on our relationship," she admits, emphasizing how both partners were drowning in silence—one unable to voice their needs, the other consumed by survival.
Her story crescendos with a devastating turning point: returning home post-surgery to find her husband's belongings gone. "I thought the challenges were just adjustments, but looking back, there were so many red flags," she reflects, pointing to the waning intimacy and emotional disconnect that slowly eroded their bond. She was left to manage her recovering wounds, tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills, and new life alone.
Reflect and Practice: Have you ever been blindsided by a loved one or life situation that had a notable impact on your physical, mental, or emotional health? How did you deal with it and what did you learn about yourself? Over the next week, make a list of all the ways in which you have made progress since that event.
A Life Turned Upside Down
Christina’s descent into physical and emotional isolation during that time in her life was crushing. She shares the overwhelming reality of trying to manage basic survival tasks, like “getting the trash dumped” or even carrying a coffee cup while on crutches, all compounded by the crushing weight of her partner's departure. "I was breathing on fumes at that point," she confesses, describing how the spiral into depression left her bedridden for weeks, losing over 20 pounds and unable to eat.
Societal pity for her disability further fueled Christina’s internalized shame. “You go from being this shining athlete, confident and capable, to feeling like this unlovable, disfigured person,” she laments, exposing the psychological toll of being seen as broken. Her turning point was sparked by a friend’s bold and loving intervention. “Your pride and your ego are denying the people that love you the chance to help you,” her friend said, a moment that forced Christina to confront how isolation and shame had consumed her. Through tears and laughter with her friend, she began to understand that her narrative—“I’m unlovable, disfigured, my life is over”—was holding her back.
Reflect and Practice: What is your biggest challenge right now and how is it impacting your life? Notice whether you accept help and support from others or if you self-isolate. Reflect in your journal.
The Road to Recovery: A New Reality
As Christina continued her journey toward recovery, she had to make significant lifestyle adjustments. The realization that her life as she had known it was over was a difficult pill to swallow. The following principles that Christina used to guide her through her long road of healing can help you navigate your current challenges as well. As a Breakup & Relationship coach, I use many of these same strategies to help people heal and rebuild after a relationship ends.
Here are 8 tools to consider:
1. Begin with vulnerability. Christina describes her initial shift as beginning with vulnerability, “faking it until I made it,” and gradually rewriting her internal story. By showing up authentically, even in her brokenness, she allowed others to offer support, which not only aided her recovery but also gave them joy.
2. Recalibrate. Reflecting on how life’s transitions redefine priorities, she emphasizes the importance of recalibrating: “Now my circumstances are all different. What is it that I want to do? What’s my legacy? And who are my people?” You can still have a fulfilling, meaningful, and happy life after immense change; it just might look different from your initial expectations. Think of how you can rebuild to support your new circumstances rather than wasting time wishing that your old circumstances were still in the present.
3. Take a Pause. Christina shares the profound importance of pausing to rebuild after life-altering changes. She shares, “My job that year was to heal,” emphasizing the critical investment in mental, physical, and emotional recovery as a foundation for future growth. This intentional time allowed her to reassess her relationships, priorities, and self-perception, adapting to the new reality rather than longing for the past. The “power in the pause,” is sometimes the most productive thing you can do. “Sit in it, feel it, and visit the pity cabin,” she says, allowing yourself the space to grieve—but don’t stay there.
4. Use Tools and Strategies. Using tools like meditation and mind mapping during overwhelming moments, and visualizing areas like finances, nutrition, or physical health as actionable branches helped Christina focus on small, manageable steps. “I wanted to manage it all, but by taking little chunks, I could see progress,” she says.
One thing that helps me when I’m faced with a challenge is to reflect and write about how I can see the situation from different perspectives, ultimately choosing one that feels most supportive for my growth and progress. If you’re someone who likes using guided prompts, the ones in The Love Being You Guided Journal: 365 Prompts to Reflect, Grow, and Elevate in 12 Areas of Your Life can help you think about different areas of your life in new ways.
5. Reclaim Your Identity. Through small but meaningful discoveries—like modifying workouts to fit her new abilities—Christina reclaimed her identity as an athlete, realizing, “I can still take care of my body; it’s just going to look a little different.” She explains how adversity forces a closer, more introspective look at life’s foundational elements, describing the need to "patch the immediate place around me" before expanding outward again.
6. Walk the Hope Tightrope. Christina highlights the profound challenge of balancing hope with realism during life's most uncertain periods. Reflecting on her own experiences, she explains, "You have to have enough hope that you keep putting one foot after the other," even when the tunnel ahead feels endless. However, she cautions against clinging to excessive hope, as it can lead to crushing disappointment when setbacks arise. Instead, she advocates for a "tightrope" approach, navigating between optimism and pragmatic preparation for inevitable hurdles.
7. Gain positive momentum. By taking small actions to help herself, positive momentum provided Christina with “confidence, connection, compassion, and love,” reinforcing the power of simple yet meaningful steps. “You pick the next right thing,” she concludes, underscoring how manageable goals can anchor a recovery process, no matter how daunting life feels.
But how do you know what the “next right thing” is? One way to figure out what actions you should take first when faced with a challenge is to correctly identify your main problem. As a Breakup & Relationship coach, I often see people treating the symptoms of their main problem vs getting to the root of it. My article 8 Questions to Accurately Identify Your Biggest Problem So You Can Take (the Best) Action To Move Forward can help you with this, or you can watch it in video form here.
8. Make the Ask. Reaching out and "making the ask" when in need can have a significant impact on both you and the person giving the help. She describes how, in a moment of desperation, she sent a heartfelt email to her gym, vulnerably sharing her struggles and requesting help. To her surprise, "within 30 minutes, all four owners emailed back" encouraging her to come immediately, with one even saying, “Get in the door tonight.” This moment reinforced for her the power of connection and community, which I’ve also written about here.
Sometimes fear of rejection or internal narratives often prevent people from asking for help. Christina reflects, "If people found out later that you were suffering in silence, they’d be bummed knowing they could have helped with minimal effort.” She emphasizes the perspective shift: asking for help isn’t just for you—it’s an opportunity for others to fulfill their identity as caregivers and supporters.
Reflect and Practice: Which of the tools above resonate with you as a potential next step in your own healing or rebuilding process? Write in your journal which one(s) you will try and when you will do it.
Paying It Forward as an Integral Part of the Healing Process
Back when I was deeply struggling with an on and off relationship, to say that I was consumed with repetitive thoughts, how I felt, and what was happening with my Situationship is a complete understatement. Luckily, I had a close friend gently suggest that I read a book about giving to help me through this time in my life. At first I didn’t really think it applied to me and my circumstance, but after reading it I realized that I had been so focused on myself and my inner chaos for so long, that I forgot how wonderful and nourishing it feels to help others.
One of the ways Christina coped with the tribulations thrown at her was by channeling her energy into supporting others. She founded the nonprofit organization Less Leg More Heart, dedicated to helping those dealing with limb loss and related challenges. “I wanted to create a space where people could find community and healing, beyond just the physical aspect of limb loss,” she shared.
The organization focuses on providing emotional support and a sense of belonging for those who are facing similar situations. Christina shared that one of the most rewarding aspects of her work is hearing from people who find solace in the community they’ve built. “We’re not just focused on amputations,” she said. “We talk about grief, relationships, coping, and everything that comes with a life-altering experience.” The power of community and support through life’s challenges and hardships cannot be reinforced enough. “I had a wonderful support system,” Christina shares. “My family, my friends, and even the people I met along the way in the medical community all played a part in my healing process.”
While it is important to take responsibility for our own lives, we must also lean on others during tough times. We may also find that we are a source of strength and inspiration to others going through similar things. “We can’t do it all ourselves. It’s okay to ask for help, and it’s okay to be vulnerable,” Christina said. She noted that this vulnerability and openness had been essential to her healing.
Lastly, remember that we are our own best advocates. Whether it’s in health, career, or personal life, sometimes the only way forward is to trust our instincts and speak up for ourselves, even when the road seems unclear.
Key Takeaways from My Conversation with Christina:
Resilience Through Adversity: Christina’s story shows us that no matter how perfect life may seem, challenges can arise when we least expect them. It’s how we respond to these challenges that truly defines us.
Healing is Holistic: Christina’s journey emphasizes that healing is not just about the physical body—it’s about healing emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. True recovery involves all aspects of the self.
The Power of Community: In times of difficulty, Christina’s story underscores the importance of having a strong support system. Whether it’s friends, family, or a community, we are never truly alone in our struggles.
Give Back to Others: Through Less Leg More Heart, Christina is not only recovering herself but helping others recover as well. Her dedication to supporting people through their own life challenges shows the incredible power of giving back and creating a supportive environment for others.
Don’t Be Afraid to Reach Out: Christina’s organization is a testament to the power of community. We all have our own personal gifts that we can share with others, and there are also people who may get great joy and meaning out of sharing their gifts with you.
Self-Advocacy is Key: Whether dealing with health issues, career setbacks, or personal struggles, Christina’s experience teaches us the importance of advocating for ourselves. Sometimes the answers we seek won’t come easily, but persistence can lead to the truth.
Christina’s story speaks to the importance of not just surviving challenges but thriving in the face of them. While she could have easily given into despair, she chose to take control of her narrative and use her experience to uplift others. Her journey is a powerful reminder that even in the darkest of times, there is always a way forward, and it’s through resilience, community, and taking action to help ourselves that we can truly thrive.
If Christina’s story and wisdom had an impact on you today, consider making a donation to her nonprofit organization Less Leg More Heart here. Every contribution counts!
Emmi Fortin
Breakup & Relationship Coach
Host of L3 Philosophy with Emmi
If you enjoyed this article and want to expand on the reflection exercises in it, You might like these guided journals!
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