Tapping into Your Feminine & Masculine Energies Can Help You Heal - Here’s How
Think of a recent time when you felt irritable, exhausted, or unmotivated. Got one? Great. Now think of a time when you felt joyful, light, or exuberant. How connected did you feel to your natural inner state through each one of those experiences?
As we move through life’s challenges, it can be easy to forget the power within us. Whether through societal pressures, relationship dynamics, or everyday busyness, we sometimes lose touch with the very essence of who we are. Why? Because we can get knocked out of balance by our external world. But inside of us lies a great power – one that exists as a delicate dance between our feminine and masculine energies.
Through my own experiences and as a Breakup & Relationship coach, I’ve noticed that both women and men are yearning for deeper connections—to themselves, to others, and to a purpose greater than the daily grind. And here’s something I’ve discovered: Reconnecting with our inherent feminine and masculine energies can guide us back to equilibrium helping us live fuller, more authentic lives. In a heartfelt discussion I had with Carey Gatto, a recent guest on L3 Philosophy™ with Emmi, we explored how these energies, often misunderstood, hold the key to unlocking not only personal growth but also healthier relationships and a more aligned existence. They can also serve as an inner compass when we’re trying to heal, rebuild, or start over in any area of our lives.
Both women and men can greatly benefit from understanding the characteristics of both feminine and masculine energies and where we may be out of balance in our everyday lives. Suppose men want to be good partners for women and vice versa. In that case, it benefits both to understand not only how they can feel supported by each energy as individuals, but how to identify when their partner may be out of balance and what they might need to realign. Today’s blog post is all about how we can reignite that spark of self-empowerment, tap into our feminine and masculine energies where they are most supportive, and embrace who we truly are.
Click below to watch the interview!
From Ancient Times to Modern-Day
My L3 Philosophy™ guest Carey Gatto describes herself as a modern-day priestess and expert in women’s empowerment. Her mission is to “help activate divinity within other women" so they can better cultivate a relationship with their authentic selves and flourish in every area of life. Carey explains that priestess is a term that was used in ancient times to describe a woman who was very much revered and respected as a sacred and spiritual leader in her community. “Priestesses would advise their community leaders on everything from when to plant and harvest crops to when to build or go to war. They also led rituals of coming of age or rights of passage into motherhood,” Carey adds. “They were spiritual pillars of their community. But that archetype has been forgotten over the past 5000 years or so where we've more so been immersed in a patriarchal culture.”
Carey is trying to bring it all back. She highlights how societal conditioning often prioritizes external validation and molds women into roles defined by others’ expectations. Examples of this include perfectionism and people-pleasing for validation, or subscribing to the message present in women’s lives from the time they are young girls of "your main mission in life is to find a partner." Instead, she encourages going inward to connect with "who you are at your core, not your ego self," which she identifies as true divinity.
Reflect and Practice: Are there any ways that you have personally been shaped by society, culture, religion, or your environment that have stifled who you are at your core? Or have they helped you thrive? Over the next week, start to pay attention to what beliefs are truly yours vs which ones have been planted there by others throughout your lifetime.
Find Your Authentic Self: Feminine and Masculine Energies Explained
Feminine and masculine energies aren’t about gender—they’re archetypal forces that live within every person. They are found in different amounts in men and women and also in each person. As Carey explained, “It’s not about labeling one as better than the other but understanding that harmony lies in embracing both energies fully.” When properly balanced, feminine and masculine energies can revolutionize how we live and relate to others and can result in the following:
Increased Self-Awareness. Connecting with both energies helps us recognize our natural tendencies and areas where we may feel stuck. For instance, someone overly rooted in masculine energy might struggle to relax or connect emotionally, while someone too immersed in feminine energy may lack boundaries or direction.
Enhanced Productivity and Creativity. Balancing structure (masculine) with flexibility (feminine) makes us more adaptive problem-solvers. As Carey said, “It’s about weaving together your ability to execute with your capacity to dream.”
Improved Relationships. Understanding these energies enables us to communicate better and meet others where they are. For example, embracing masculine decisiveness can help clarify goals in a partnership, while feminine empathy can build emotional intimacy.
In our day-to-day, flowing in and out of these energies is vital for alignment and harmony, especially in relationships. However, spending excessive time in one energy can lead to various symptoms. For a woman, overidentification with masculine energy can lead to burnout and emotional disconnection. “I prided myself on my ability to get things done,” Carey reflects, highlighting how societal messages taught her to see femininity as weak.
This belief drove her to suppress her feminine energy in pursuit of validation and independence, especially as a young mother striving for security. This suppression of feminine energy also showed up in her relationship after some time as feeling burnt out, resentful, angry, and bitter that she was working so much at the same time as raising her three children. “I wasn't in the mood for intimacy and I wasn't taking care of myself. I wasn't doing self care. I wasn't paying attention to that inner life, that energy of how do I feel right now? What actually makes me happy? I didn't have any hobbies of my own or creative outlet or anything because I was so focused on the future.”
Other side effects of women spending too much time in their masculine energy are being overly competitive, aggressive, or controlling. Spending more time in feminine energy could alleviate these.
When a man overidentifies with feminine energy, he might notice symptoms as well such as avoiding confrontation, being overly accommodating to others, and struggling to assert personal boundaries. He may struggle to make firm decisions or seek excessive input from others when making choices. It could also show up as avoiding taking initiative, waiting for others to lead, and not actively pursuing goals. When a man consistently goes to great lengths to please others, even if it means compromising personal needs, he may be spending too much time in his feminine energy and would benefit from doing things that activate his masculine energy.
Reflect and Practice: Do any of the symptoms of overidentification of either masculine or feminine energy resonate with you? If so, notice when you feel them most, such as when you have a million things on your to-do list or your role at work.
Characteristics of Masculine and Feminine Energies and How to Reconnect with Each
Masculine energy is linear, goal-oriented, and focuses on external achievements. It’s the part of us that plans, executes, and builds. Think of it as the grounded pillar of stability—the energy that sets boundaries, takes responsibility, and protects what matters. Keywords to remember that describe masculine energy are logic, focus, action, stability, and assertiveness.
On the other hand, feminine energy is about flow, creativity, and connection. It’s the part of us that embraces emotions, fosters relationships, and nurtures growth in others. Feminine energy thrives in the unknown, finding comfort in intuition and compassion. Keywords to remember for feminine energy are Intuition, emotion, creativity, connection, and receptivity.
Achieving harmony between these energies doesn’t mean splitting them 50/50—it’s about learning when to lean into each one based on your needs and circumstances.
Reconnecting with Feminine Energy
Carey states, "when a woman can truly be in her feminine energy, she is the fire. She is warm, nurturing, and the spark of vitality." This imagery of being the "fire" encapsulates the essence of feminine energy: it’s radiant, it’s alive, and it’s magnetic. It draws people in, but it also has the power to create, to heal, and to transform. Here are some practices to reconnect with feminine energy:
1. Practice Presence. SLOW down. Feminine energy thrives in the moment. Activities like journaling, meditating, breathwork, or spending time in nature can help you slow down and tune into your intuition.
2. Allow Emotional Expression. As Carey noted, “Big emotions aren’t something to fear; they’re invitations to grow.” Whether it’s through art, movement, or simply talking with a trusted friend, find ways to honor what you’re feeling. Emotions are natural, and as Carey wisely put it, "it's okay to have those feelings... you don't have to be positive all the time."
3. Nurture Relationships. Create time to connect deeply with those around you, especially with other women. Ask open-ended questions, listen without judgment, and celebrate the joy of being present with others.
4. Dance and Movement. Music, in particular, is a powerful tool for transformation. Carey shared a personal practice that’s been a game changer for her: "I love to throw on an angry song or a sad song and then follow it with a good, bouncy, sexy song." This is a simple yet powerful way to shift energy and release pent-up emotions and connect with your sensuality.
Harnessing Masculine Energy
When a man is connected to his masculine energy, he feels confident, purposeful, and stable. For those who feel scattered, stuck, or indecisive, cultivating masculine energy can provide much-needed clarity and direction. Here are some practices to reconnect with masculine energy:
1. Set Clear Goals. Take time to define what you want and map out a plan to get there. Use tools like to-do lists or calendars to bring focus to your actions.
2. Create Boundaries. Masculine energy thrives in structure. Establish limits that protect your time and energy, whether that’s saying “no” to overcommitments or carving out non-negotiable self-care hours.
3. Take Inspired Action. Action is the hallmark of masculine energy. Even small, consistent steps toward your goals can help build momentum and confidence.
4. Develop physical strength. Engaging in regular exercise, strength training, and physical activities that challenge the body help cultivate focused action, which can result in personal achievement.
As Carey beautifully states, “When we allow both energies to coexist, we access a fullness that isn’t possible when we operate from just one.” At its core, connecting with our energies is about self-acceptance. It’s about recognizing the divine balance already present within us and allowing it to guide us toward the lives we’re meant to lead.
Reflect and Practice: Experiment with the above practices and notice the shifts in your energy and relationships. Which practice(s) will you choose to implement first?
Cultivating Vulnerability and Connection
In today’s world, it can be easy to feel isolated, especially when juggling personal and professional demands. Add to that a breakup, divorce, or other stressful event in your life and you’ve got the potential for overwhelm. One of the most powerful themes I explored with Carey in our interview is the importance of building strong, supportive relationships. Carey emphasized that for women, "cultivating sisterhood is key to returning to your feminine energy." She spoke about how when women come together, they have a unique opportunity to express vulnerability, share their experiences, and support each other without fear of judgment. By allowing ourselves to be seen – truly seen – we open ourselves up to deep connection and healing.
As a Breakup & Relationship coach, I have noticed that many of my female clients have somewhat of a support system in place that includes other women. They most likely feel free to share with each other because in general, it is socially acceptable for women to talk about their feelings and seek a loving shoulder to lean on. This doesn’t come easily for some women, however, and it certainly doesn’t come easy for most of the men I’ve worked with.
There are less spaces created for men to openly share and feel supported, but it is something they truly need. Many express that working with me is their only time and space to be able to work through their life problems, fears, insecurities, or changes openly with another human without feeling shameful or judged for opening up. Carey recommends "being with people you know won’t judge you". But sometimes that can be hard to find or feel too uncomfortable. This is where working with a professional can help you find and maintain these meaningful connections while also experiencing growth and progress in your life. Authentic connection creates a safe environment where we can heal, grow, and step into our true selves. If you need a safe space for this, consider scheduling a call with me to see if we would be an aligned fit to work together.
Self-love is the foundation for everything else in our lives. If we don’t love ourselves, we can’t fully show up for others, and we can’t fully access the power that lies within us. This is why it’s essential to take time each day for self-reflection, to check in with yourself, and to ask, "Am I honoring my needs?" When you’re connected to your true self, you get to flourish in every aspect of your life. Flourishing doesn’t mean perfection—it means growth, evolution, and embracing the journey, even when it feels messy. Whether it's in our relationships, careers, or personal lives, when we connect to our authentic selves, we become more grounded and aligned with our purpose.
Reflect and Practice: With whom do you feel most safe to share your vulnerabilities? This week, spend some time searching for a community or mentor you believe would be most supportive for you right now. Reach out!
Moving Forward: Be the Authority for Your Own Life
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to healing or reconnecting to your masculine and feminine energies. It’s about finding what works for you, what makes you feel alive, and what brings you into alignment with your true essence. It’s about embracing your whole self.
This is your invitation to step into your power and live a life that feels aligned with your highest potential. You are worthy of love, connection, and all the goodness life has to offer. The journey to empowerment starts with you, and it begins with the simple act of reconnecting with your heart.
Key Takeaways:
Tap Into Your Energies for Deeper Self-Connection. Reconnecting with our inherent feminine and masculine energies can guide us back to equilibrium helping us live fuller, more authentic lives. They can also serve as an inner compass when we’re trying to heal, rebuild, or start over in any area of our lives.
The Fire of Feminine Energy: Carey’s powerful words about feminine energy—"she is the fire"—remind us that when women tap into their vitality, warmth, and nurturing qualities, they become unstoppable forces of change. Feminine energy is not just about softness but about fierce, dynamic power.
The Assertiveness of Masculine Energy: When a man is connected to his masculine energy, he feels confident, purposeful, and stable. Taking responsibility and pursuing goals with focused action are behaviors that enable a person to connect with masculine energy.
The Importance of Emotional Release: Managing overwhelming emotions is a crucial part of personal growth. Whether through journaling, dancing, or talking with trusted friends, it’s essential to get feelings out, not bottle them up. Carey emphasizes that it's okay to experience big emotions and thoughts; "it's normal, it's human."
Embracing Vulnerability through Support Networks: Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and express your feelings can significantly impact your mental and emotional well-being. The act of sharing what's on your mind with people who won't judge you is an important step in healing and empowerment.
Reconnecting with feminine and masculine energies is not only a personal endeavor but also a gift to those around us. By showing up as balanced, authentic versions of ourselves, we inspire others to do the same.
Let’s embrace this journey together, one moment of self-awareness, compassion, and inspired action at a time.
Emmi Fortin
Breakup & Relationship Coach
Host of L3 Philosophy with Emmi
If you enjoyed this article and want to expand on the reflection exercises in it, You might like these guided journals!
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