If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve been feeling stuck, frustrated, or unsure about how to move forward in a particular area of your life. Maybe you’ve been trying to heal from something, rebuild after a significant loss, or step into a new chapter but keep hitting the same roadblocks. If so, I want you to know that you’re not alone—and you’re in the right place! This blog is all about how to “L3”: Love Yourself, Love Your Relationships, and Love Your Life, or as I like to call it, my L3 Philosophy™. 

In this blog post, I’ll walk you through how to pinpoint your real problem—the one at the root of your struggles—so you can finally take effective steps to overcome it. Spoiler alert: your biggest challenge may not be what you think it is.

Why Identifying the Real Problem is Critical

Imagine you have flu-like symptoms: fever, fatigue, and aches. You might assume it’s the flu and start treating it with rest and hydration. But what if the real cause is an infected tooth? The treatments for the flu and an infection are entirely different. Treating the wrong issue would mean your symptoms persist—or worse, get more severe.

The same principle applies to challenges in your life. We often focus on surface-level symptoms rather than digging deeper to uncover the true source of the problem.

For example: You might think your problem is that your husband or wife asked for a divorce, but the root issue could be that you

If you’re feeling stuck after a breakup, divorce, life challenge or transition, you're not alone. In this blog post, I’ll share the #1 thing you should prioritize to heal, rebuild, and create a life you love again.

Why You Feel Stuck

When we face a big challenge, like a breakup or life transition, it’s easy to obsess over the problem. We replay events, analyze every detail, and fixate on things we can’t control. I’ve been there myself. After multiple painful breakups, I found myself consumed with thoughts about my ex and the circumstances of our relationship. I spent hours rehashing memories, wondering where things went wrong, and blaming myself or my ex. This cycle left me feeling lost, anxious, and depressed.

When you view the problem as external—“This person left me, so I feel this way”—you’re naturally tempted to search for external solutions. But that approach doesn’t work because the root of the problem lies within you.

It’s like treating the flu when the real issue is an inflamed cavity with flu-like symptoms—you’re addressing the symptoms, not the cause. Here’s an example. I worked with a man whose wife