In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to get lost in the hustle, forget our own needs, and disconnect from the people around us. This is particularly relevant when going through a breakup or struggling with relationship challenges, as our lives are shaken up in ways we often aren’t prepared for. But what if joining communities where people feel truly seen, heard, and connected—where they can thrive together– is an important piece of the solution toward being well? 

That’s one central question explored in an inspiring conversation I had on L3 Philosophy™ with Jen Earls, a community dance leader, performance artist, and advocate for regenerative impact. Our conversation offers insights about healing, rebuilding, and strengthening relationships—both with ourselves and others—that shed light on a deeper, more fulfilling way of living.  Through her organization Dance for Humanity, Jen helps people reconnect with their bodies, emotions, and communities through dance, creating spaces where individuals can thrive by honoring their own needs while deeply listening to those of others.

This blog post will reflect on some of the key takeaways from our conversation and how you can apply them to your unique life situation. We touch on themes of self-empowerment, honoring boundaries, and the importance of community especially during times of personal challenge or life transitions. Jen’s experiential stories and the wisdom she shares invite us to slow down, listen more deeply, and create a culture where everyone has the space to be their authentic selves.

Slowing Down to Listen

Take a moment to reflect on how you normally react to a stressful situation. What do you do? For some people, distraction or doing things to help them escape the present

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve been feeling stuck, frustrated, or unsure about how to move forward in a particular area of your life. Maybe you’ve been trying to heal from something, rebuild after a significant loss, or step into a new chapter but keep hitting the same roadblocks. If so, I want you to know that you’re not alone—and you’re in the right place! This blog is all about how to “L3”: Love Yourself, Love Your Relationships, and Love Your Life, or as I like to call it, my L3 Philosophy™. 

In this blog post, I’ll walk you through how to pinpoint your real problem—the one at the root of your struggles—so you can finally take effective steps to overcome it. Spoiler alert: your biggest challenge may not be what you think it is.

Why Identifying the Real Problem is Critical

Imagine you have flu-like symptoms: fever, fatigue, and aches. You might assume it’s the flu and start treating it with rest and hydration. But what if the real cause is an infected tooth? The treatments for the flu and an infection are entirely different. Treating the wrong issue would mean your symptoms persist—or worse, get more severe.

The same principle applies to challenges in your life. We often focus on surface-level symptoms rather than digging deeper to uncover the true source of the problem.

For example: You might think your problem is that your husband or wife asked for a divorce, but the root issue could be that you

If you’re feeling stuck after a breakup, divorce, life challenge or transition, you're not alone. In this blog post, I’ll share the #1 thing you should prioritize to heal, rebuild, and create a life you love again.

Why You Feel Stuck

When we face a big challenge, like a breakup or life transition, it’s easy to obsess over the problem. We replay events, analyze every detail, and fixate on things we can’t control. I’ve been there myself. After multiple painful breakups, I found myself consumed with thoughts about my ex and the circumstances of our relationship. I spent hours rehashing memories, wondering where things went wrong, and blaming myself or my ex. This cycle left me feeling lost, anxious, and depressed.

When you view the problem as external—“This person left me, so I feel this way”—you’re naturally tempted to search for external solutions. But that approach doesn’t work because the root of the problem lies within you.

It’s like treating the flu when the real issue is an inflamed cavity with flu-like symptoms—you’re addressing the symptoms, not the cause. Here’s an example. I worked with a man whose wife